Dr Ramdas Pai was a name uttered with respect at Northwestern Memorial Hospital: a brilliant neurologist’s legacy built on excellence and dedication. At 65, he was revered by his colleagues and trusted by thousands of patients who had received his treatment. His children were doing well in life and his life appeared complete. Yet, since losing his wife Malathy three years ago, all accomplishments felt hollow. The accolades, the admiration, financial success — none of it could fill the silence she left behind.
Chicago’s long, unrelenting winters had pierced into his bones, the biting cold bringing out the loneliness within. He yearned for the warmth of home—the salt-laced breeze, the swaying coconut palms, and the sunny embrace of Mangalore’s shores. His mind was made up. Despite his children’s fervent requests, he signed away his property and left the city behind, returning to the place where his story first began decades ago.
Mangalore embraced him with its balmy air, the scent of the sea carrying whispers of the past. Stepping into his childhood home, he felt the weight of time press against his heart. The house, once filled with laughter, music, and the echoes of his parents’ voices, had aged in his absence. He bought back his siblings' shares, as they had long moved on to lives in distant lands. With careful hands and unwavering devotion, he restored the home—every brushstroke of paint, every repaired corner a quiet act of love—an earnest attempt to recreate the distant past. It was more than a house; it was a bridge to the life he had left behind, now ready to welcome him once again – a new chapter – like the blooming lotuses in his pond.
After persistent encouragement from old friends to put his skills to good use and keep his mind occupied, Dr Pai decided to step out of quiet retirement to join a leading hospital in Mangalore. His arrival was met with excitement; the staff welcomed him with admiration, honoured to work alongside such a distinguished physician.
Dr Pai’s primary role was to treat the elderly, many showing the first fragile signs of dementia and Alzheimer’s. As he immersed himself into their world, he couldn’t help but draw comparisons. In Chicago, patients often spent their final years in state-of-the-art hospices, surrounded by medical efficiency but in aching solitude. Here, in Mangalore, resources were scarce and facilities inadequate—but love was abundant. Families cared for their ailing elders with unwavering devotion, their presence offering a comfort no machine could replace. The contrast was striking, and it stirred deep emotions within him.
Among his patients, two cases stood out. Mrs. Mary Saldanha, a retired schoolteacher, who initially came in with mild forgetfulness—misplacing keys and forgetting words mid-sentence. Dr Pai advised cognitive therapy and simple memory exercises. He noticed her affectionate daughter always by her side, patiently helping her mother hold on to her identity. Then there was Mr. Pravin Rao, a former engineer who began showing more severe signs—wandering out of his house and forgetting his way back home. His devoted wife refused to let him out of her sight, even when his condition deteriorated. Watching them decline was heartbreaking for Dr. Pai, as he was familiar with the inevitable trajectory of their illnesses.
But there was one patient who fascinated him the most— 70-year-old Raghavan Sir.
Raghavan had once been a celebrated Carnatic violinist, a maestro who had played in the grandest sabhas (musical gatherings) of Chennai and beyond. His concerts had once drawn thousands, when his fingers weaved intricate ragas that could evoke the rain, sunshine, and deep longing. Now, Alzheimer’s had taken away almost everything—his ability to recognise family, to form sentences, to recall his own name. But strangely, when his trembling fingers touched the strings, he could still play the violin —flawlessly.
Dr. Pai was mesmerised by this phenomenon. He would often visit Raghavan’s home, where his family had kept his old violin by his bedside. Watching him play was like witnessing a man waking up from deep slumber to be momentarily possessed. As soon as the bow met the strings, his vacant eyes flickered with life and widened with a spark of fleeting recognition. He played ragas like Kalyani and Bhairavi with the same finesse he had decades ago, as though time raced past him from a distance. His music filled the air, awakening emotions and stirring souls in ways words never could.
Fascinated, Dr. Pai delved into research about musical memory in Alzheimer’s patients, often bringing up Raghavan’s case with his assistant, Dr Mala. She was eager to learn, asking thoughtful questions that deepened their discussions. He took great pleasure in mentoring her, not just as a student of medicine but as a kindred spirit who shared his curiosity and compassion.
Their conversations stretched beyond hospital walls—over hurried coffees between rounds, lingering chats in his office, and slow walks through the hospital lawns. They spoke not only of medicine but of life, memories, and the profound ways music wove itself into human experience. With each exchange, the unspoken understanding between them deepened. Mala admired his wisdom and quiet dedication, while Dr Pai found in her a sharp mind and an empathetic heart.
What began as a professional mentorship grew into a bond of trust and camaraderie—one strengthened by their shared passion for healing and their growing respect for each other.
But then, events took a curious turn.
One afternoon, as they reviewed a patient’s file, Dr Pai asked, "Mala, did you schedule Mrs. Saldanha’s next cognitive test?"
She hesitated before replying, "Yes, Dr Pai. Hadn’t we discussed this just ten minutes ago?"
He chuckled. "Ah, must be age catching up."
But it wasn’t an isolated incident. A week later, he asked about a case he had already reviewed that morning. Mala began noticing other small lapses—misplaced papers, a forgotten meeting, the same questions repeated within minutes. Her heart grew heavy. She, a neurologist herself, picked out the signs but struggled with whether to inform him.
Then, one day, he came to her, eyes clouded with realisation. "Mala, something is wrong with me, isn’t it? I keep forgetting things. I’m sure you would’ve noticed".
She swallowed hard, unsure how to respond.
"It’s nothing actually…happens to all of us from time to time…" she started, but before she could finish, he blinked in confusion. "Mala, did you schedule Mrs. Saldanha’s next cognitive test?"
The weight of the moment crushed her. He had already forgotten their conversation.
Over the months, the disease progressed. His brilliant mind, once sharp, methodical, and evaluative, began slipping away—like sand through clenched fingers; the harder he tried to hold on, the more it slipped through. He started forgetting names, episodes, places and faces. Eventually, even his beloved Mangalore too appeared like unfamiliar territory.
Mala continued to visit him, even after he could no longer identify her. She sat with him in the evenings, speaking softly, in the hope that somewhere deep inside, he could somehow grasp elusive strands of familiarity.
One evening, as they sat together under the shade of a coconut tree in his home compound, something unexpected happened. From across the courtyard, the sound of a violin floated through the air. It was Raghavan, playing the raga Shankarabharanam—a melody of peace, of longing, of homecoming. Mala had this planned – she had a house-help play one of Raghavan’s recordings on a music system inside the house. The music resonated—melodic, rhythmic, and alive. Each note rose and fell in perfect symphony, weaving a tapestry of sound that can be created only when a master’s bow caresses the strings with effortless grace.
Dr Pai, who had been staring blankly ahead, suddenly lifted his head. His eyes, clouded with confusion just moments before, now flickered—was it remembrance? Emotion? He closed his eyes, taking in the moment with the music, trying to find substance in the hollowness that enveloped his mind.
For a brief, ephemeral moment, he was at peace.
Mala squeezed his hand, a silent reassurance. "It’s beautiful, isn’t it, Dr Pai?" she whispered.
A tear slid down his wrinkled cheek. He didn’t say a word. He didn’t need to.
As the violin played on, its notes merging with the crashing waves of Mangalore, time carried him gently into the horizon—leaving behind the hush of memories.
Having seen a close friend fall victim to this dreaded affliction, this story rang more a bell. The utter helplessness of everyone around while he suffered (or did he?) and slithered into the dark was unimaginable.
Really great. It leaves one wondering how our lives transform in each stage and the constant fear of what our autumn days would be.